Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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