I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
