it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
