I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Randomize
