and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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