Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
