names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
