It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
