I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
