So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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