Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
