May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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