i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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