grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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