From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
