dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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