he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Randomize
