Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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