Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
