Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
