help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize
