Moan for me like Helen Keller
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
