It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
