I'm really into asian looking animals
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Randomize
