i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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