I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
