You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Randomize
