I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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