Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i just google imaged poop.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
