It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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