And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
