so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
