Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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