i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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