I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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