We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
