dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
i think my cat just said my name.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
