Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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