Pregnant stripper...not hot.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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