Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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