We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
