PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
