so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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