im so drunk with asians
where?
always
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
