did you get engaged???
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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