someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
