And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
