its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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