I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
