you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
