Fine. I'll sleep in my office
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
