hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
